Sunday, May 07, 2006

This is the last time I go for a girl!!!

Anuj and Raghu were having a nice cup of coffee on a cold weary night. Suddenly,

“Thud !!!!!!” sounded Raghu, banging his hand hard on the table.

“This is the last time I go for girl. No more girls. Only research. You know Anuj, these girls are hypocrites.” Raghu declared with an air of absolute authority.

Anuj still silent busy enjoying his coffee and the pancake he picked up on his way out of the cafeteria. The cafeteria was warm but still both of them preferred under the star studded cold night.

“Are you listening you ever eating hippo? I just had a break up and you are behaving as if nothing happened. You are my best friend. At least show some sympathy.” Raghu roared at Anuj.

“Yeah yeah.. I understand” Anuj said nonchalantly taking a huge bite of his pancake.

“No you don’t understand. You only say so.”

“You don’t get it, how hard it is to loose the love of your life?”

“Guys like you think love is like a pancake. As long as you eat it put all your attention on it. Once finished forget it with a burp. Anuj its hard to find true love” Raghu was almost in tears saying those last words.

Anuj finally got to understand the gravity of the situation and slipped his remaining pancake in his leather jacket. He had never been in this situation before. A heart broken fellow in front of him almost in tears. He had no words to console him though he knew this was probably Raghu’s zillionth break up since he had joined iit for his phd 4 and half years back. Anuj has seen only his last two break ups for in the initial years both of them had different groups of interaction. The one before this was not that grave. He intoxicated himself with good deal of vodka and went to sleep. Within a week he has trying to draw Parul’s attention towards himself. Parul happened to be a PhD student from the chemistry department. Only god can tell who got attracted to whom but within two weeks the two of them were often spotted together at various locations inside the campus. Walking side by side, chatting, giggling. And then after 1 and half months, here he was with Anuj declaring confidently that all girls are hypocrites and Anuj was a ever eating hippo.

After a long spell of silence Anuj finally asked “ How did it all happened?”

Probably Anuj had just done the worst mistake of his life. With nothing else to say he had to ask Raghu something. So he asked what he perceived to be the shortest question to ask. But sometimes the shortest of our questions has the longest of all answers.

“It all started with a bang like in big bang theory. I was having a cup of tea in lounge. After five minutes she too came with her labmate. We exchanged glances. And that very moment I knew she also has feelings for me.”

“How can you know from just a glance whether somebody likes you or not? “ Anuj interrupted.

“Don’t interrupt. Just listen. Just as you know by smelling food whether it will taste good or not I know by just a look whether somebody is interested in me or not. Like that girl over there inside the cafeteria. Though she is sitting with her boyfriend but with a corner of her eye she is looking at me.”

Anuj tilted his face a little to see if there was anybody inside the cafeteria. He was surprised to see there was a girl and boy sitting enjoying there cup of hot drink. Anuj didn’t notice them coming for he was busy with his pancake.

“May be she is trying to see who are those two blokes who are sitting outside in this cold winter when we could have enjoyed the warmth inside.” said Anuj with anticipation that Raghu might buy his explanation.

But god has made some people with a perception that they are ladies man.

“No you don’t understand, you fatso. She is trying to look at me. Every girl does that even if she is with a guy .”

“May be there is no sense of commitment now a days. So why don’t you go on with your story as to why you had break up” Anuj said pulling back Raghu to the topic they were discussing or rather to the story that Anuj was listening. For it was well past midnight and Anuj had only one thing in mind. Go back to his hostel and slip into his huge quilt his parents gave him on his twenty fifth birthday. They wanted to give him a wrist watch but Anuj wanted a huge quilt. For him only two things mattered food and sleep, rest everything is secondary.

“I knew this is the love of my life. So far what ever girls I had been with they were not the love of my life in true sense.” Raghu started his narration which seemed to Anuj will last till morning and he will miss his beauty sleep.

“You know it is one of those rare feelings you have when the cupid really strikes you. Anyway what would you know. For you food is everything .”

“Then i started saying come on Raghu go and speak to her this is it. If you miss this chance you will be sad for the rest of your life. I was waiting that I get a few split minutes when she would be alone”

“And then luck smiled at me. Her friend went inside to pay the bills while she waited outside the lounge. It was lucky day. There were lot of people trying to pay there bills. So I knew she will be there for atleast ten minutes. I walked up to her and said hi! I am Raghu from physics departmenmt”

“She looked at me surprised or rather I should say she was taken back by the way I introduced myself so fast when we had been making eye contacts for just couple of days. Believe me that was the longest 15 seconds of my life. But she replied with a smile I am Parul from chemistry department.”

“Wow! What a beautiful smile she had. That was my mistake. I fell for that smile. In reality she is a hypocrite”

Anuj listened to Raghu hoping that the break up part will come soon and he will be back in his hostel under the quilt.

“I hope Anuj I am not boring you” asked Raghu

“No no! not at all” Anuj replied for he knew he had to go through the whole story. So better now then later. If it is too late he will drop an email in his supervisor Prof Ramanujan’s mail box requesting him for a leave telling him that he was doing literature survey for the latest idea that the prof gave him for his phd problem the previous day. Of course not forgetting to add that he didn’t have much success.

“Shall we have another cup of tea or may be we can meet sometime in the evening and go for walk” continued Raghu

“Anuj do you know what was her reply. I have never met another girl with such a straight forward reply”

“She simply said are you formally asking me out.”

“I was stunned. I said you can think so.”

“In that case I don’t mind another round of coffee she said”

“Then we started of with a regular chat. I came to know she was working with Prof. Dave. And you know surprisingly she was also working on nano particles. Really that was a lucky day. Then I told her I am with Prof Ramanujan and working in nano particles. After that it was like smooth sailing. Her favorite colour is red same as mine. Lucky number 8, again same as mine. She loves to study a lot. You see she was completely my type.”

“Then why did you have break up?” Anuj interrupted trying to cut a long story short.

“Wait! I will come to that. Before even you can understand my point of calling her a hypocrite you have to know the circumstances that led to the conclusion” Raghu sneered back.

“Ok carry on” Anuj said trying to frame an email for Prof Ramanujan in his mind.

“Then it was full time affair” Raghu continued

“We used to meet regularly in the evening after lab hours. Even during lab hours our tea times were fixed so that we could have tea together.”

“So what did you talk about?” Anuj said trying to look concerned

“We talked about all sorts of things. Like weather, studies, future plans anything under the blue sky.”

“Future plans? Plans about what?”

“Plans like where we would like to go for our post docs. What we would like to do after phd. And so and so forth”

Anuj still couldn’t get the fact, if everything was so sweet why the god damn break up happened. Because the consequences were really huge, first this Raghu is emotionally broke though only for few days, second he has to listen to a love and hate story which if penned down will probably exceed Romeo and Juliet, and third he has to write an email to Prof Ramanujan telling something which he has never done. He thanked god for the idea in Prof Ramanujan’s head otherwise he would have to take a sick leave which incidentally he took two days back. Anuj was really running out of ideas for this kind of leaves.

“Then every week we used to go out for dinner. Sometimes on Sundays we will visit the mall and have dinner and come back. If anyone of us had to do shopping we would go together. Then when she had her qualifiers I used to accompany her to the library and study with her. So in a way that helped for my qualifiers as well, after a week we were going out she came to my room for the first time. I had spent the whole day tidying it up. We chatted for almost five hours that day. I told her about my family and off course about my drinking problem. And she turned out to be a good listener. Then she told me about her family. Her father is an officer with the navy. She has a younger brother who is pursuing medicine in AIIMS.”

“After that we went out to the restaurant in the campus and had a nice dinner. Luckily she is also non vegetarian. So we really didn’t have any problem selecting items form the menu.”

“Things were really going smooth then fifteen days back I popped the hardest question”

“I asked her whether she was serious about me and is she going to talk about me with her parents and stuff like that.”

“She said her parents won’t be a big prob. In fact it won’t be any problem at all if she were to marry me or something like that. Then she started talking how liberal her parents were and how she felt bad about certain things that are expected of girls in this part of the country. Then she was emphasizing on the fact that she is very different from the girls around her. She is very open minded that is why many people don’t like her.”

So Raghu continued with his narration of his numerous rendezvous with Parul. Then the part came for which Anuj was eagerly waiting for.

“This was last Friday” continued Raghu, “I had sprained my ankle and couldn’t move around”

“She came to see me in my room. And I was really yearning for a bottle of rum. I asked her if she could get me a bottle of rum from somewhere.”

“Her reply was like a shocked what?”

“From where did you expect her to get the rum?” Anuj quizzed

“Why from the shop at the campus gate? She said she is so forward and stuff like that and she couldn’t get a bottle of rum from there, that too in the day time”

“I guess she didn’t get you that and you broke up”

“Look anuj, I cannot spend my whole life with a hypocrite. At one hand she says she is blah blah blah and on the other she has problems in getting a bottle of rum”

“That may be a particular case. May be she is against alcohol and stuff like that. But somehow she adjusted to your drinking problem thinking she might be able to get rid of that. So you should have also adjusted to her reservations in going to the liquor shop.”

“Anuj you don’t understand the way she refused to bring it didn’t show she is against alcohol. Basically she is hypocrite”

“Ok what ever you say” Anuj agreed with Raghu though he could't understand how somebody becomes a hypocrite if he or she doesn't buy liquor from a liquor shop. In his heart he thanked god that the story is over within two hours. It was 4 in the morning. Anuj thought may be he will send the mail to Prof Ramanujan and then go to sleep. After all for Anuj sleeping anytime of the day is perfectly all right.

That was three months ago and still today he could not understand why Raghu had a break up. Raghu has kept his promise so far. He has not messed with any girl in the meantime. Anuj now firmly believes that Raghu has learnt his lesson from his last affair. Prof Ramanujan is already demanding more work from both Anuj and Raghu.. They are having tough time finishing their jobs within the deadline set by their supervisor. May be that is one of the reason why he is not messing around, thought Anuj. It had been a long day. Both Anuj and Raghu had a nice tough talk from Prof Ramanujan. Suddenly out of the blue raghu says “You know Anuj I think that lady with curly hairs in our junior batch likes me. I saw her many times staring at me”

“Oh no! not again Raghu” Anuj sounded with lot of disappointment.

Raghu started to say something but Anuj did not pay attention to much of what Raghu said on their way back to hostel. The first line from the conversation he had with raghu on that cold night flashed in his mind again and again. As an after thought Anuj thought may be Raghu should have said

“This is the last time I go for girl before the next time.”

Disclaimer: This is a fiction any resemblance to anybody anywhere is purely coincidental


changingsun said...

Hi! That was hysterically funny....I was laughing my head off! i know very well who raghu and anuj are, but who is parul ;) ???

akashkushum said...

nice and funny :)