12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

A Bulb for Pentax-km

I found a few days back that the bulb operation for the Pentax-km is really strange. Generally people use bulb for long exposures and hence use a remote release. In this Pentax model for bulb operation you have to keep the shutter release button pressed as long as you want the exposure. And for remote release, in this case IR, it is not one click on and one click off, like model from other makers like Nikon and Canon, rather you have to keep the sensor engaged for the total amount of time you need the exposure. Apart from that your remote has to be in the line of sight of the IR sensor on the camera. I really don't know why Hoya corporation hires such engineers to make cameras who do not understand the bulb function at all. Though I made an attachment to work with this camera in the bulb mode but it is said that the IR sensor heats up after 10minutes of continuous operation and then it disengages. The attachment is quite simple. What you have to do is put two IR diodes in opposite sense and connect to any audio device with the proper signal output. The signal output can be made using any standard wav creator. The signal code for IR remotes for Pentax is 38kHz, hence you have to use two diodes in opposite sense so that when one is off the other is one and this will give rise to a 38kHz signal from a 19kHz signal which can be played out form any mp3 player. 

Further explanation and information can be found in this forum post (http://www.pentaxforums.com/forums/pentax-dslr-discussion/131633-absurdly-simple-diy-k-x-remote-timer-using-mp3-player.html). This design works, I made my own using the instructions given in the post. I am copying the post directly so that even if the forum closes down the instructions will be there. There is also an Android app and it can be found here http://www.multiupload.com/WKHOQ1KVHP  Try to use a a 940nm high power diode similar to Maplin YH70M specifications for which can be found here.

"I started with a headphone extension lead, from Poundland (luckily I thought the one Maplin sold for £7.99 was a ripoff) and the two IR LEDs are from Maplin, code YH70M, just over a quid each.




Testing. Believe me, when the shutter went off this was a real EUREKA! moment for me. You have to wire them up so that the positive leg from one LED is attached to the negative leg of the other LED. This is NOT a parallel circuit - they are two opposing diodes. This becomes clear later. Also, my lead has a red, white and yellow wire. The yellow is ground, and is not connected to anything.


I decided to file down one edge of each LED so that they fitted next to each other nicely (you have to make sure to file the correct side on each one else the leads don't go well together)


See I started filing the wrong side on one of them.




I used thin shrink tubing on one lead and then larger shrink tubing to cover both the leads, then wrapped the whole lot in insulation tape.


Finished. Very simple. I guess it took about 2 hours to make but that included the time it took me to figure out how to make the .wav file work.


So that's the lead. The next step is the .wav file. I found the correct code from this thread. It looks like this.



So here's the important bit. To be honest i'm not sure that what I'm about to say is technically correct but, well it works so there you go. The IR code signal is 38kHz but the .wav file we will create cannot go that high. So what we do is use pulses of 19kHz, and because we have two LEDs wired opposing each other, one LED will 'light' up during the positive part of the wave and the other will light up during the negative part of the wave, so that for each wavelength we actually have two pulses - so a 19kHz wave gives us 38kHz pulses. Follow me? To make sure this works, only one channel (I've made it the left channel) can transmit the signal because if both channels do then they cancel each other out. Or you could invert the signal on the right channel (possibly leading to a stronger IR pulse - need to experiment with that).

The signals are created simply using the "Generate, Tone" function in Audacity. I specified a square signal and 19000 Hz, for 13 milliseconds for the first long pulse and then 1 millisecond for the subsequent pulses.

Here's a screenshot of the .wav file I created, I used Audacity which is free.

LINK

Once it is saved as a .wav, use windows media player or something to check it works. In case you hadn't guessed, the lead you made just plugs into the headphone jack of your computer/MP3 player/whatever. It's funny though - this didn't work with VLC. But windows media player did work. Meh. It also worked when I converted the file into an MP3, but possibly less reliably? Not sure. I would stick with wavs unless your device can't play them.

To make this into a useful timer, you need to create a track with the signal at the beginning, followed by X amount of silence, and then simply play the track on repeat. However I have found it hard to gauge how much time to leave - for example when you set the shutter speed to 30 seconds the time between shots is actually a bit longer than this. For this reason I prefer to use bulb mode, so the .wav is laid out like this:

SIGNAL - 30s silence - SIGNAL - 2 seconds silence

with this on repeat, the camera will continuously take 30s shots until the memory card is full/batteries run out. Whatever, experiment, see what you like. Watch out for DFS though, but then you could even account for that by putting in the appropriate amount of silence for DFS.

Anyway the point is this is a really really simple way to make your k-x into a time-lapse or astrophotography beast! You could even set up a playlist to give you, say, 100 exposures at 30 seconds, 10 exposures at 5 seconds, or whatever. I'll be making some sort of mount to attach the lead to the camera close to the IR port, possibly even just an elastic band or something. 

From PentaxForums.com: http://www.pentaxforums.com/forums/pentax-dslr-discussion/131633-absurdly-simple-diy-k-x-remote-timer-using-mp3-player.html#ixzz26YPKQYeP"

Lost in translation

Well one of my friends posed a question as to what should the translation of a line written in Bengali to English. So here how I replied and the line.

The question: Jabar path ache ki baki ? (যাবার পথ আছে কি বাকি ?)

Would you please help me to translate the above into English ?


The answer: This is not so easy this sentence has spiritual meaning. Lets see word by word. First word "jabar" if written in English. But this one you can write with G as well. So it becomes gabar. Meaning a person belonging to Iranian Zoroastrianism. The second word "path" is same in English as well meaning road. So seen as in English the first two words translated will mean "The road to Iranian Zoroastrianism". Moving forward, "ache", in English it means pain. The next word "ki" can also be written as "key" like lock and key. And the last word is "baki" we can also write it with an e like bake as if baking a bread. Now the key refers to something particular. In this case the road so the key road to Iranian Zoroastrianism, and to get good things in life or achieve spiritual enlightenment you have to suffer or bear pain. So the author of the above sentence wants to say that " The key road to Iranian Zoroastrianism is baked in pain"

The Caterpillar Train

Both the videos contributed by Arpan

Jokes that are not joke and the obvious that is not obvious

The first one that started this series was actually thought to be a joke which turned out otherwise. I am talking about some jokes that are not jokes as told by my joking friend.

1. A guy goes home in the evening and tells his wife that I have a very special letter for you which I will give you after dinner when we go to bed. So he gives the letter to his wife after dinner, as promised. His wife opens the letter and they both read it. (end of joke)

The second he started a little melodramatically. It was regarding getting money out of ATM. In most ATMs in France you are given money in multiples of ten starting from 20 euros. So, some guy says that once he tried taking out 17 euros but nothing came out except for a hand from where the money is dispensed and almost slapped him. So, then my friend chips in saying that he knows one funny incident with ATMs. That will be joke and not a joke number 2.

2. This guy goes up to the ATM and put his debit card in. The ATM beeps a few times and asks him for his passwword which he gives and then the ATM dispays the amount option. This guy at the ATM goes for 20 euros and guess what happened. He gets the twenty euros and goes away. (end of funny incident)

The above two jokes which are not jokes did have a profound effect on the surroundings. Few people like me were actually laughing and one in the audience was trying to throw something big at the joke teller for telling such extermely good jokes which are not jokes. Another effect it had on the joke teller is that whenever he tried to tell a real joke people would guess the obvious and try to finish his real jokes which most believed will not be a joke and in the process the joke teller would forget the joke he was trying to tell which in most cases would not be a joke. But then this joke teller would try to ask some questions with obvious answers which we were not able to answer because the obviousness of the answer was not so obvious to us due to the obvious reason of we being void of our obviousness in the midst of our day to day obvious life. For example he asks a guy "Do you know why Gandhi is still famous?". The other guy who did not have any obviousness tried many things before he was told the obvious answer "He was a freedom fighter".

Well these are I guess some new kind of jokes which are not jokes but under certain circumstances people might laugh or get hurt. Well, thats all for now. I do not remember any more of the jokes which are not jokes but may be in future if I find any joke which is not a joke and not at all obvious and it does not get lost in the obviousness of the surrounding I will write on this wall.

Sambre et Meuse

Sambre et Meuse

This sculpture is known as "Sambre et Meuse". I tried looking for it everywhere but never found it on the net, hence this entry. This artwork is in front of the tourist office in Namur, Belgium. I went to Namur in February 2010 and clicked this picture. I did not care to note down the name of the statue at that time thinking I will find it on the net. But no, I could not. So, eventually I wrote to the tourism office in Namur and they told me this sculpture is called "Sambre et Meuse" and was created by Hungarian sculptors Sonogkyi and Keren. Interestingly Namur is also the confluence of rivers Sambre and Meuse.

Funny Ad.....

Hanri...............

Ambigram

This was created by me and one of my friends for a t-shirt. but somehow the guy responsible for printing the t-shirts screwed it and the whole thing looked really sad.

last set till i make more

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Some more

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Ink Prints

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